omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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