Sponge bath it is.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's blow job season.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
