i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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