put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Terrible idea I love it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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