ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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