Acid is not a monday night drug
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize