I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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