At least make sure they are 18
Why
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
