careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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