i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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