Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
