How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Houston, we have a squirter
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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