And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
