I want to make a zoo with you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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