Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
