Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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