At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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