currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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