as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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