ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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