I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
