i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize