They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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