didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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