If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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