apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think i got beer on your cat.
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