We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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