I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
