No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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