That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
