I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
