I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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