Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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