How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
