super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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