Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
as a side note pls kill me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
