Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
