Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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