sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
