Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
