I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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