no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You can't special order awesome
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
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