failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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