accomplished twins. life is a go
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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