He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
