i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
