This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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