quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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