Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
