did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
