Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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