I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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