just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
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Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
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She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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