are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
