You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
