No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
