If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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